


The Shortest "Stiles, Where's My Dick?!" Sterek Fic Ever Because Stuart Stilinski May Be Super Hot, But He's Still Sick of Your Shit

by FiccinDylan



Series: Sick of Your Shit Verse [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Emissary Stiles Stilinski, Emissary in Training Stiles Stilinski, F/M, Just the Tip, M/M, Multi, So that's why, Spencer Stilinski, Stiles is super hornsville, Stilinski Twincest, Stilinski Twins, This is going to lead into the next fic, Troian Bellisario - Freeform, Twincest, Vaginal Fingering, and also Spencer from PLL, because multiple orgasms, it's fanon that the Stilinski Triplet is a girl, just go with it, shortest sterek, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3253499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the lovely @devilscut</p><blockquote>
  <p>b/ Stiles has been practicing magic and it backfires drastically when Stuart is caught up in magical fall out and gets turned into a girl (temporarily Stiles assures him) but seeing as he's got these untried parts Stuart really wants to take them for a test drive and Stiles is all too willing to help out.  :D</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	The Shortest "Stiles, Where's My Dick?!" Sterek Fic Ever Because Stuart Stilinski May Be Super Hot, But He's Still Sick of Your Shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [devilscut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilscut/gifts), [eeyore9990](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/gifts), [because why not?](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=because+why+not%3F).



> I ABHOR always a girl Stiles, and just girl Stiles in general, but I LOVES me a challenge. Also Devilscut is the only author to date (I did read a Stilinskitwins and Derek one from eeyore9990 that was good, but in terms of longform) to make me enjoy girl Stiles. One thing she did was basically transplant boy Stiles into a girl's body and that's a hard feat to master. Check out [Happy Anniversary Baby!](http://archiveofourown.corg/works/1177664) for some great ja feels.
> 
> Anyhoodle, unbeta'd because multiple orgasms, so...
> 
> Enjoy!

Yes, the book Stuart is reading is a thinly veiled modernized retelling of the story of Romulus and Remus, so his feelings of paranoia could most likely be attributed to that.  However, he also has the distinct feeling he's being watched by a twin set of eyes.

He sighs deeply and puts down the book looking at his little brother by three minutes fidget in the doorway.

"Dammit Stiles, you're more obvious than Remy Sabine, renegade rebel who is trying to usurp his brother Roman Sabine’s empiric rule! What do you want?"

"Can I borrow that book sometime?”

“Stiles!”  Stiles exhales and walks towards Stuart who is lying on the bed.  

“I went to Derek's and I found a _Victoria's Secret_ receipt. He's obviously straight and totally into girls."  Stiles sat forlornly on the bed while Stuart tried valiantly not to roll his eyes at his brother’s dismay.

“Stiles, that’s nonsense and you're an idiot.”  Stiles narrowed his eyes at Stuart.

“I'm not an idiot! There was also a catalogue for ladies shoes.  He obviously has a girl he likes and he wants to buy her girl shit.  It's true and I’m going to prove it! Here, drink this.”

Stiles hands Stuart a vial which Stu assumes is some new milkshake concoction his confectionary twin thought up.  Honestly, ever since Stiles started dabbling with magic, this is the bulk of what the younger (‘ _by 3 minutes, Stu!’_ ) has been doing with his emissary training. Sometimes they leave Stuart a little gassy, but overall the drinks are tasty and harmless.

“Hmm, that’s interesting,” Stuart says, swallowing the whole thing in one gulp.  It tasted like kiwi.  “What is it?”  Stuart asks as Stiles watches him carefully.  After a few seconds Stiles shrugs disappointed.

“Nothing, I guess.”  Stuart looks at Stiles and then the vial and back at his brother.

“What?”  Stiles lays down next to Stu, wrapping his arms tight around his waist and turns the page in the book.  They start reading together until Stuart drifts off.

Stuart wakes up and he feels _good_.  He feels soft and fluffy, yet firm, and just… different.  He snakes a hand down his torso, past his jeans and into his boxers and yep… he’s missing his dick.

“DAMMIT, STILES!”  His voice comes out deep, but lighter and more feminine.  He springs up and looks at himself on the mirror on their door and he’s… fucking hot!

“Oh my god, I’m so hot!”  He has long dark brown hair, amazing lashes and a nice fit body with BOOBS!  The door bursts open and in walks Stiles holding girls’ clothes.

“STILES!”  Stiles throws the clothes at Stuart’s face and tries to run away, but Stu tackles him in the hall.  “STILES, WHERE IS MY DICK?!”  Stiles laughs and throws his hands up in defeat.  Stuart gets off of him and pulls him up before heading back to their room to change.  He pulls off his shirt and picks through the clothes Stiles provided.

“Dude, you’re so hot.”  

Stuart rolls his eyes, but can’t help but blush a little.  He notices Stiles ogling his breasts so he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Stiles why do I have boobs and a vagina?”  


“Oh my god, you actually have a vagina?  Can I see it?”

“Stiles, focus!”

“I was going to have you go and ask out Derek to prove that he was straight and I know just dressing you up wasn’t the same so I did some genderswap magic and it worked, holy shit!  You’re soooo fucking hot!”  Stiles nearly drools as he reaches out his hand to try to pull down his brother’s arm.  Stuart slaps Stiles’ hand away.

“Stiles, I know!  REVERSE IT!”  Stiles looks as though Stuart should be grateful he violated his anatomy.

“Bro, I’ll make the antidote, but you should take some time to get to know your feminine side.  It’s not every day you get an opportunity to flip through your own vag-” Stuart grabs a pillow and throws it at Stiles who catches it clumsily.

“STILES, REVERSE IT!”

“Uggh, fine, it’s going to take some study, but… I mean, c’mon bro.  You’re so hot it’s UNREAL.”

“Go study, Stiles!”  

“Are you going to take off your pants?”

“GO STUDY, _NOW_!”  

“Okay, okay.”  Stiles trudges off while Stuart gets dressed in a cute outfit and thinks about how many ways he’s going to kick Stiles’ ass when he changes back.  He could do it now, but he really didn’t want to mess up his nails.  Stuart was always a heavy sleeper, so even as mad as he was, he had to praise his brother’s hair and makeup skills.  He looked so fucking hot.

After a while of futzing around on the internet, Stuart hears a knock at their door.  He answers and there stands Derek Hale, looking equal part perplexed and tittilated.  

“Oh god, what has Stiles done now?” Derek asks. Stuart blinks and see his opportunity.

“I am Stiles, I just… uhh, kinda accidentally turned myself into a girl.”  Stuart flails for effect as Derek narrows, then exaggeratedly rolls his eyes.  Before he can say anything, Stuart continues.

“So look Derek, I like you, and I know you like girls, so I thought maybe if I asked you out as a girl, then maybe-”

“Stu- _Stiles_ , I don’t like girls!”  Stuart blinks and raises an eyebrow at his brother’s paramour who exhales and looks at the floor. “I don’t _just_ like girls.  I like guys too.  I like you.”  Derek looks up with bright green eyes full of longing and truth.

“So… if I asked you out as a boy, you’d say yes?”  Derek gives a small smile.

“Yeah, definitely.”  Stuart flails -this time for real- and holds his hands out indicating for Derek to wait.

“Okay, um, wait here a sec, don’t move!”  Stuart runs downstairs to their basement where Stiles is sulkily looking through an old tome and mixing items together.  

“Stiles!”  Stiles looks up and gasps.

“Dude, I can’t get over how ho-”

“Yes, Stiles!  I’m hotter than the fucking sun, I know!  Derek is upstairs!”  Stiles eyes go wide as he hops up and starts dusting himself off.

“Oh my god, he’s here?  Why is he here?”  

“I don’t know, but he likes you and he said if you asked him out as a boy he would say yes, so go do that!”  Stuart is pushing Stiles towards the stairs and before going up Stiles turns and gives his brother a big hug.  He hangs on just a little too tightly.  

“Oh my god, you feel soooo great.”

“Are you sure Derek’s the one you’re worried about being into girls?”

“Shut up, Stu.  You know I’m bi, I just needed to make sure he wasn’t straight. Besides, who wouldn’t like you?  You’re amazing.”

“I’d be a lot more flattered if your finger weren’t halfway in my honey pot.”

“Seriously dude, you’re unreal-”

“GO GET DEREK!”  Stiles laughs sucks his finger into his mouth before running upstairs.  Stuart gives them a while and hangs out downstairs.  He’s looking through an old porn mag of Stiles and feels himself getting slippery between his legs.  He licks the underside of his forefinger and slides it against his peaked nipple, teasing first with a drag against his goose pimpled areola.  Ooh, that was nice.  

He puts down the magazine and takes his other hand and slips it into the front of his panties.  It isn’t until now that he starts to wonder where on Earth Stiles got girls’ clothes and pantiies, but all thoughts rush out of his head when he gently grasps his clit between his thumb and forefinger and gives a little twisting squeeze.

“Oh, shit.”  Fuck, Stiles was right.  Stu finds his body autogyrating as he fingers the growing wetness of his lips and rubs his middle finger against the hot inside of his undulating sugar walls.  He’s tight and humid and his body hungrily accepts his finger as his other hand rubs itself up and down his neck and back to cupping and squeezing his tits.  His fucking gorgeous tits.  He pulls up his shirt to get a good look and is surprised by the dusky nipples that protrude from his ample C cups.  

“Fuck me, I’m so fucking hot.” He says as he finds a mirror and takes off his shirt and drops his pants to the ground.  He gets on all fours facing away from the mirror and opens his legs wide, looking back as he plunges two fingers inside of himself.  He flicks his hair out of the way and moans obscenely before slapping his own ass, watching as his cheek turns pink in the reflection.  

“i gotta get to a bed before Stiles is done with the cure.”  He gets to the stairs and wonders if he has enough time to call Isaac. He goes into his room to look for his phone when he sees Stiles sitting on his bed looking somewhat forlorn.  When Stiles doesn’t say anything about his naked body, Stuart knows something has gone wrong.

“Where Derek, Stiles?  What happened?”  Stuart goes and straddles Stiles’ lap and Stiles hugs him close, burying his head into Stu’s neck and giving a telling sigh.

“I chickened out.  He was standing right there, looking so beautiful and hopeful and I just told him that I had to take care of your thing first and I’d come talk to him.  I’m such a loser.”  Stuart tilts Stiles’ chin and looks at his baby brother lovingly.

“Stiles, you’re not a loser.  You’re my brother and you’re wonderful and smart and funny and tall.”  Stiles grins and hugs his brother tight.  Stuart holds him chastely for a while before he feels warm, plump lips on his collar bone, sucking sweetly before descending towards his very sensitive nipples.  He also feels two very sure and strong hands on his ass and thighs and a declaration of interest from between Stiles’ legs. Stu can’t help but giggle.

“I’m very sad you chickened out with Derek, but I’m a girl now and multiple orgasms so here’s the deal.  I’m going to take your mind off of your rejection for a while, and you’re going to give me the antidote you cooked up.  And until it kicks in completely, we’re gonna have a little fun.”  Stu winks at Stiles wide, expectant eyes and yelps when Stiles stands and throws Stu on the bed, before running downstairs for the reversal.

When he comes back up he gives Stu the vial (this one tastes like banana, which…  apropos), and Stu drinks it down.  He feels a little warm even though he’s still naked and invites Stiles to join him in the bed.

“Only oral and toys because I’m not going to end up mpregged with a webbed foot baby.  None of this Game of Thrones level bullshit, you hear me, Stiles?”

“Yes, no rawdogging.” Stiles says as he blankets himself over Stuart’s new body and devours it wherever his mouth can reach.

“No any dogging it, Stiles!  I don’t want that thing near my treasure chest!  Are you listening?”  Stiles rolls his eyes and nods.

“Yes, I can conquer the mountains, but I can’t plunder the booty.”  Stuart narrows his eyes.

“Don’t you touch my ass, Stiles!” Stiles grabs both of Stuart’s cheeks and begins pulling them apart and letting go so they slap back together.

“Too late!”’ Stuart ladyhandles Stiles until he’s reverse cowgirl on top of him and slides his vagina back until it’s over his brother’s hot and greedy mouth.  He lets out a moan as Stiles’ broad, flat tongue laps at the juices that drip down Stuart’s full thighs.  

After coming for the 3rd time, Stu lays languidly on the bed while Stiles goes to the bathroom.  He hears his little brother’s phone buzzing and fishes it out of his jeans.  He looks at a message from Derek, confirming a date for the two of them Friday night.  He looks up and sees Stiles standing guiltily in the doorway.

“Uhh, Stiles?  Why is Derek Hale confirming a date for you on Friday?  I thought you chickened out!?” Stiles hops on the bed behind Stu and starts rubbing his hands up and down Stu’s sides while gently massaging his breasts.

“Well, I did.  But then Derek took the first step and next thing I knew we had a date.  I was going to tell you, but then we got distracted, so… yay?”  Stuart would get mad, and he is still going to kick Stiles’ ass when he changes back, but he sees the look of elation on his bro’s face (and also thinks back to the orgasms he’s just had) and lets it go.

“You realize you’re a piece of shit, right?”  Stiles nods as he wedges his dick between Stu’s thighs, moving it slowly as Stu starts to get wet again.

“You’re so fucking hot!”

“Stiles…”

“C’mon, let me put it in you, Stuella.”

“Stiles, no!”

“Shh… Stuarina, just the tip.”

“Stiles, I swear to god!”  

“Stupaul-”

“What even-”

“I brought some condoms from the bathroom.”

“Stiles, there’s no- wait, what?  You found condoms?  Are they expired?”

“Nope!”

“Just the tip?”

“Just the tip, Sturacha.”

“Uggh, I fucking hate you sometimes.”

“I love you, brosis.”

“I love you too, now let’s suit you up!”

 

** Epilogue 1 **

“That’s more than the tip, Stiles!”

“I know, it’s so good, right?”

“Stiles, you said just the tip.”

“Stusie, you’re on top!”

“Oh yeah… oh _yeah_!”

 

**Epilogue 2**

The next night they’re in a pack meeting and everyone is milling around.  The werewolves in the room watch Stuart strangely as he bemoans the slowness of Stiles’ reversal serum.

“You guys can call him Miguelita, if it helps.  She’s my cousin from Mexico.”  Everyone throws things at Stiles who huddles to safety in Derek’s lap.

Isaac, with his Botticelli curls and his cupid’s bow lips, saunters to Stuart and sits on the arm of the chair he’s in.

“So it’s coming back in stages?”  Stuart nods.  He’s got his girl face, and his boobs, but he has his dick back, though the vagina still lingers where his balls should be.  He also still has the gentle curves of his feminine body.

“Yeah, upstairs is pretty awesome, but downstairs is a mess of confusion.  It’s still pretty awesome though.”  Isaac gives him a long analysing look before standing up and holding out his hand.  

“You wanna get out of here?”

“Yep.”  Stuart takes Isaac’s hand and they head towards the entrance of the loft.  Scott comes in and shakes his phone at Stiles indicating that he got his message.  He’s carrying a bag of chips and indicates towards Isaac.

“The meeting is starting!  Hey, who’s your girlfriend?”  Stiles laughs as Stu rolls his eyes and pulls Isaac out the door.  

“Dude, is that your cousin?  She is-”

“So fucking hot, I know!”  Isaac laughs as they make their way to the Jeep and head home.

**Author's Note:**

> Your parents are just so proud of you, and I don't care what anyone says, you look GREAT in hats!
> 
> Come visit me on [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)!


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